A Letter of Tears

I was once a little girl that does not understand about the sky and what lies beyond our eyes. Then, I grew up living at a house near the planetarium. I've once read a story, that tells me about a girl that fell in love with a classmate that worked on a planetarium. He knew a lot about stars and often took the girl to a secret place with no artificial light. That's my main motivation for moving in to a village, rather than living in a crowded and bright city.

I am already 20 years old, old enough to have a boyfriend and think if I shall get marry sooner or later. But that doesn't make my spirit down. I really love to study astronomy and other thing that related to it. So, I came to the planetarium now and then, randomly, while studying for my thesis.

There, like any other comic books or novels, I met a guy. He is always at the planetarium, watching the show that is annually hold by the planetarium on Sundays.

"You always came at the same day and at the same time. Aren't you bored?" he asked me while I was watching at the show.

"Never. I love learning things like these. It really eases up my mind, even just a little bit," I replied. He kept quiet after that short conversation. Not long after, I ran into him. He was using a wheelchair.

"Would you like to go and have some tea with me?" he asked me with a graceful smile. I kindly accept it and follow him. We have a great time together. And I didn't feel that any dangerous things will happen if I am close to him, not like any other stranger.

A week from that, he asked me to spare some of my time. I kindly accept it. At night, like the story I've read a thousand times, he takes me to a wonderful place.

The place is very wide, with the sky on top of us. We have a great time. We talk about a lot of things, including death. I know that he looks pale, but, I don't have the courage to ask him. And that day ends when Venus shows itself at dawn.

Weeks have past, and I can't find him on the planetarium. So I ask the owner and find that he have passed away. I am shock. Really shock.

The owner then gives me a letter. He says that it is written and addressed for me, so I take it and leave the planetarium.

I never go to the planetarium again since I know about his death, so I almost forget about the letter too. But when I am going for a ride with my bicycle, I come across the most beautiful place that he showed to me. I ride my bicycle at full speed and take the letter. I almost rip it apart, but, I think he would like it if I read it at our secret star-seeing place.

So, I go there at night and place my back upon the breezy grass, and then open it softly. And then, I read it out loud in my mind:

"The stars are like people's life. They are created by Nitrogen and such gases, forming a beautiful star that shines through the atmosphere, making millions of people gazed upon them and 'wow'-ed at them. People are like that too. We are created by our father and mother's sexual gen. And when we make a living, we can shine wherever we are, at our own pace and skills. Stars also die, by exploding, but it will only happen after million of years. We, humans, will also die, by unexpected things and causes.

Sarah, if you find yourself lonely, look at the sky while you are resting your body on the breezy grass. And then, search for the star called Polaris. It won't go anywhere, I promise you. It will be at the same spot in any season, any time. Maybe, it will make you remind about me and my pitiful life, so that you can go on and reach your dream.



I'm sorry that I never tell you about who I really am, and what I've been through. I have an illness that made my internal organs functions degraded year after year. I know that I'll leave you sooner or later, so I wrote this letter. It's because, well, maybe, I don't want to see your sad and lonely face.

Is it called love? I don't care. The most important thing is your happiness and your dream. Just reach it when you have the time, I know you can do it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. There will be a meteor shower on the 20th of this month. When that time comes, let's go together, shall we?"

I gently close the letter and look at my clock. It's the 20th of the month that was mentioned by him. I close my eyes. I pray to God for his safety and, without me knowing it, I cry. I let my eyes open slowly and amaze at the sky. It is a meteor shower.



I write something on the back of his letter.

"Like the meteor shower that I see, my tears are racing down through my cheeks. But I know what I must do. To reach 'our' dream and make it a reality. I know that you will always support me, Chris. So, I won't give up."

I rip apart the letter and blow it to the sky. The pieces are being carry by the wind, while I smile and look upon the sky. It'll be a new day.