Another Feeling

Hello, my blogspot!

It's been two years since my last post.. I was overwhelmed with so many things that had happened during these two years!

I happen to come across several anxiety-disorder situations and I even went to seek professional help in order to identify what I am feeling. Well, it seems that most of it comes from my traumatic childhood. It's getting better now that I know what was the cause from all of my stressing points, but I am still trying to recuperate since I have buried my feelings for so long.

I never stopped writing during these two years, especially because writing fictions had always been my remedy or you can say as my stress-relieve! It's a very great thing that I know how to manage myself, but often times, I press myself way too much that I feel like I am running out of breath. Yeah, like Muse said "asphyxiating".

I have three ongoing stories, which as always I do not know how it will end. Anyway, I feel like I am getting closer on figuring out how to drive my anxiety out of my life. Other than writing, I am trying to change my sleep pattern (whereas I usually sleep very late), eat healthy foods (dieting on junk food and too many sweets), and of course you cannot forget exercise! I am trying to gain more happiness hormone to drive out my 99% un-explainable worries.

Well, I can't keep up with how my blog is going on. I want to try to inspire people to not give up and write with their hearts, but I guess I still can't do that in daily basis. My stories, mostly, have a dark vibe, it doesn't comply to common sense, even if I have a great sense of justice for the characters. I love seeing my characters interact with each other, slicing between dimension and time, having a connection with each other in different time lapse, all in the fear of leaving behind a negative impact for the readers.

I am a fantasy lover, as you might have known, but I keep on creating sad stories of moving on or stepping forward. I keep my romance notion at the top and mix it with fantasy, but I am still not confident enough of sending it to a publisher. I mean, would you even consider reading what I write as a therapy? I feel joy whenever my characters come to live, but I don't know how people perceive it.

Anyway, it has been a great time to actually just burst out all of my emotions in a very raw manner. As you may have known, I usually conceal it in a story :)

See you again when I have the urge to write inside this blog of mine. I really wanna update my tumblr story, but I guess it lacks a lot of things at the moment, so I will focus on finishing Arthadia :)

Ciao

Arthadia - Character Introduction

Hello, Blogger. Nice to see you after such a long time of absence (I think it's almost a year from my last post, is it not?)

I have been writing random stories in my phone to release my anxiety every now and then. Based on one of my weird dream, again, I wrote a piece called Arthadia. You might want to ask what kind of story that is? Well, it's basically a story about a dimension called Arthadia, an extended version of Earth which comes from human minds, gathered to form a universe of its own. As it is a form of human mind, people have super-powers with different level of danger for each person. The people who enter Arthadia are those who have acquired super-powers and committed one or two crimes with their power. By the reign of the world council at that time, they are exiled from Earth, thrown into Arthadia, where they have to control their powers in order to choose whether they can come back to Earth or stay in Arthadia as civil servants in general.

The main characters are Ellard, Arthur, Sarah, and Kana. Four of them possess a sad past and curiosity of knowing what Arthadia's true purpose. Arthur and Sarah have a dangerous threat level of power that could easily kill people or disrupt the peace of Arthadia which makes the council of Arthadia put a close eye on every of their movements. In contrast, Ellard and Kana are those connected with both Arthur and Sarah but possess a low to medium threat level of power.

In short, the four of them thinks that human have yet uncover the truth behind the creation of Arthadia, especially after they know that Arthur is a descendant of one of the founder of Arthadia. Arthur's coming to Arthadia is one of the key of knowing the detailed picture of Arthadia. The journey takes on after the trial of Arthur's mistake of power usage on opening a portal of his own form Arthadia to Earth and back. They break out of school together, also from the eyes of the councils of Arthadia. After that, they went on a journey to actually understand the existence of Arthadia and put an end to it as an illusion of happiness of humanity's bad face.

I still haven't written the part of the journey, yet. There are seven chapters so far and it's all explanations of their respective power and their history alongside with their attachments to their dark past within live. Even though they have develop feelings for each other, their bonds are unbreakable even at the first time of their encounter.

SHORT BACKGROUND
Sarah and Ellard are siblings who almost killed their parents after they are divorced. Sarah was taken by their mother and Ellard lived with their father. After some time, Ellard, through telepathy with Sarah, finally knew that his mother often took advantage of Sarah's obedience while she seduced a lot of men, taking them home and treat Sarah as a servant of her own. Enraged, Ellard told his father and they bust in to Sarah's house, finding her mother in some stranger's arm. As their parents caught up in a fight, Sarah and Ellard's offensive power activated. Being in panic state, Sarah even modify the air around her parent's surrounding, choking them almost to death. At the right time, the governor's elite team came and took away Sarah and Ellard to Arthadia. Almost killing her parents, Sarah was sentenced as a dangerous threat while Ellard's power are more subtle and was classified as low threat level. Both Sarah and Ellard have their own regrets about killing their parents. Even though Sarah and Ellard attended the same academy, Sarah avoided Ellard most of the time due to her big regret.

Kana, more are revealed through the story, is a shape-shift-er. She could change the appearance of any objects with her imagination. She can also use it on a human, but she was too afraid to change the structure of the organs structure so she usually only do it at a dead object instead. She's a big fan of Ellard, Sarah's brother, even though Sarah act as if he's not her brother. Kana is Sarah's roommate and also her best-friend since Sarah is a very introverted person. Kana never revealed her past to anyone until a certain circumstances befall Sarah. She's very overprotective about Sarah and she's a very dedicated person at every job she was assigned to.

Arthur is a complicated person. He has a very dark childhood until he was 21 years old. He was a doll, a servant, and a slave in modern a modern English region. He lived in England since he was small, abducted by a person named Chris when he was about 13 or 15 years old. He was then used as various unimaginable role by many people, Chris's clients as he says. He's not the only one, but he had the hardest time from all of the children. He has some behavior problem, sometimes cold sometimes warm to Sarah and Ellard. His heart is enlightened since his first encounter with Sarah when he accidentally open a portal to Arthadia on his own will. It is later found out that Arthur was the child of the founder of Arthadia. In order to find the truth about his deceased family and Arthadia's existence, he asked Sarah to accompany him on his journey since Sarah is like a long-gone red string of his, who he doesn't want to let go. He's afraid of his own past and future, clouded by dark intentions at times, and he can't heal his own wound. He's Ellard roommate due to Sarah and Ellard's attachment to Arthur since their first encounter. He tends to be very careful about almost everything but act rash when he's being very emotional.

They are as lovable as Cielo and Krieger, Lucifer and Elizabeth, and even my other characters. They tend to change their personality time by time because of their acceptance of their past and emotions attached to it. They have a courageous passion but bubbly and romantic at the same time. I hope that Arthadia can be put in an online platform or something, but because of the bad plot, I will be keeping them in my own personal place until the story is finished.

Well, see you later when I have the chance to actually write again. This serves as an exercise of my English skill too, so I hope I can have feed-backs from the readers here too :) See you!

Feelings

To the sky that shed tears...

I remember the day I am very depressed, facing reality as if it was a nightmare from day to day. I feel as if I do not want to get out of my house, fearing the eyes that will scan me as if I am an outcast. The day that the blue sky can never be a clear blue sky at my eyes, remaining only the dark that can be seen inside my heart.

At those times, socialising with people feels awkward. I felt empty and sad, when finally some people lighten up my days. But, my dear sky, I have seen that as a past I should be happy about, because I am now standing here, seeing my old self as some turning point to be a more happier person.

As the sky gets lighter...

I can see the path has become more brighter. The path that the light before have opened up for me is making its way to much more wider road. I see people with different personalities, different auras, but most of them sheds light to my dark and exhausting days. I cannot be more grateful as I am today that the path is full of obstacles, yet leading me to a much complicated yet full of sunshine, road.

As the rain stops, the sun appears, the rainbow will follow..

The future, my dear sky, is something that I cannot see of which it will be full of darkness or full of sunshine. I see that the road is getting much more complicated, as life have always been. I see that once I take a step forward, seeing back, the darkness behind is like a shadow below the sun. I step upon the shadow and will always take another graceful step. Slowly, as I walk further from the dark past, I know that the shadow will get longer. But, the shadow will remain as a shadow, only there to remind me of how I have become a much better person than before.

As the rainbow stays.. it will also fade and the cycle will start again..

Prologue

Pagi itu, salju sintesis pertama turun di dalam Cube A101. Selama aku mengabdi di dalam tim riset, ini adalah keberhasilan terbesar tim riset Ardha. Akhirnya, orang-orang negara Indonesia menikmati salju walaupun hanya di dalam kota Cube A101. Entah bagaimana dengan kota lain.


Januari. 2020.


Ayah berhasil membekukan kelompok fraksi anti-pemerintah di Area 104. Sudah beberapa tahun ini Ayah menaklukan banyak kelompok anti-pemerintah. Pembangunan Cube yang tidak terdaftar untuk membuat tempat prostitusi atau perdagangan bebas sangat menjijikan. Lihatlah Ayah, aku akan menghancurkan mereka, lebih dari yang kau bayangkan.


Januari. 2020.

Choices

I'm trying to write stories again, but my mind kept focusing on my college subjects, so it is a bit hard to concentrate on writing fictions at the time being. Although sometimes the idea came out of nowhere when I'm studying. It's fun, but I want to finish some writings first hehe.


Today, I want to tell about happiness! :D


Ever heard of "Bad Day", "Bad Mood", or even "Eternal Unhappines"? Okay, the last one is a little bit extreme...


As human beings, it is rational to actually be depressed or demotivated, maybe even to think about the hardships that we have done on that day and how people won't appreciate those hard works of yours. But as my mom always said, "Being happy or not is a matter of choices. It does not come from the people around you, but it comes from within yourself. So you cannot say, 'I need someone to motivate me today'. You should say, 'I am very motivated today!' And you'll be able to bring positive thoughts within yourself without having anyone near you to do so"


A wise advice that my mom gave me at the time I told my mom about how bad my day was and how I just want to yell at everyone at that day
Yes! Happiness is not made by your surroundings! But, it is made by yourself! A bad day will not be a bad day when you always be grateful at what you experience that day. So, just set a smile, forgive every scolding you receive today, be tough, and share that positive aura of yours! Maybe, you'll make people around you happy because of your happiness :)


Good Night! And may tomorrow be a better day :)